"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!" 
— Woody Allen

Reach Out And Grab It

You know how when you leave a really good movie, you kind of leave with the movie transformed as a feeling inside you? Maybe it's just me; but I really feel like that when an inspirational speech is given or something. I really feel like I will be the change, I will be environmental, I will be the bigger person, I will be more kind... but as I'm pretty sure has happened to others, reality doesn't seem to work that way. Soon you mind loses track of that feeling and you find more important things to worry about like your actual reality, your friends, family and goals and how society functions.

The thing is, today I had that bubbly inspirational feeling... But I felt it like a catharsis. Nobody told me about it, or mentioned it and being as I use this blog not only to vent but to document and later remember of y old thoughts, I thought I might as well...

Right now, you can do anything you want. As a matter of fact, you can ALWAYS do anything you want to. Imagine shamelessly. Create willingly. Value patience. Learn. It is one of the most important things that make you who you are. If you want something, *reach out and grab it*. You know that if you quit something, it's because you no longer want it. /but as long as you do, don't give up. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that don't work." -Thomas Edison

Enjoy what you do. Smile. And it's always nice to be wonderfully random.


"Part of me suspects that I'm a Loser, and another part of me thinks I'm god almighty"- John Lennon

Doing

I've always been told that in life you'll have to do things that you don't want to. This is wrong. The truth is, sometimes you'll do thing you don't wan't to do, but no one actually forces you. (unless they're like abusing you or something of the sort) You do it cause you don't want to let other people down, or to prove your worthiness... or  cause you don't want to have to deal with the hassle of them staring you down, shaking their heads, or simply it's the fact that they won't stop to understand why you don't want to.

Tomorrow, I'm going to do something I don't want to. Partly because I'm lazy, but mostly because I didn't want to do it in the first place. And dumb old me gave in to the repetitive voices of my friends... what you do to get people off your case. The thing is, I'm not a very stable person (and I mean this in the most sane way possible.) I get bursts of urge and angst to do things, but then they leave and, I change what it is I wanted to do. Almost like seasons, but without the pattern. And truthfully right now, I feel like dancing, and painting, and creating, and sleeping, and figuring out my life. Maybe it cause recently I found a very strong interest in film-making, or maybe it's because I haven't relaxed and done these kinds of things in a while. Or even maybe, it's because I want to have a sense of control over my life. 

I really want to do what it is I want to do without people nagging me about it, because it kind of takes some of the fun out of it. Anyway... I wanna quit... but I probably won't. Ain't that a joy?