Doing

I've always been told that in life you'll have to do things that you don't want to. This is wrong. The truth is, sometimes you'll do thing you don't wan't to do, but no one actually forces you. (unless they're like abusing you or something of the sort) You do it cause you don't want to let other people down, or to prove your worthiness... or  cause you don't want to have to deal with the hassle of them staring you down, shaking their heads, or simply it's the fact that they won't stop to understand why you don't want to.

Tomorrow, I'm going to do something I don't want to. Partly because I'm lazy, but mostly because I didn't want to do it in the first place. And dumb old me gave in to the repetitive voices of my friends... what you do to get people off your case. The thing is, I'm not a very stable person (and I mean this in the most sane way possible.) I get bursts of urge and angst to do things, but then they leave and, I change what it is I wanted to do. Almost like seasons, but without the pattern. And truthfully right now, I feel like dancing, and painting, and creating, and sleeping, and figuring out my life. Maybe it cause recently I found a very strong interest in film-making, or maybe it's because I haven't relaxed and done these kinds of things in a while. Or even maybe, it's because I want to have a sense of control over my life. 

I really want to do what it is I want to do without people nagging me about it, because it kind of takes some of the fun out of it. Anyway... I wanna quit... but I probably won't. Ain't that a joy?