Breathing Curse Words

Sometimes, you just need to scream. Scream at no one... at everything. Cuss. Cry. Hide.... maybe you need to leave so you can breathe. Punch a wall and consequently cuss because it hurt more than you originally planned.

A couple days ago I found myself demanding that time give me my life back. I wanted my childhood years where campfires with friends, playing during recess, and moments of first boyfriends filled the places of my life which now hold drama, angering feelings of hopelessness and more drama. I hate telling people my problems. I don't like that they care. I feel people have their own problems to bear my own also. I know about this first hand. That's why I've learned to laugh at situations and remind myself that things aren't as bad as they seem to be and that I'm acting like a baby. So I rather be alone, implode.

When I tell you to PLEASE leave me alone, I mean it. But I don't. I really do want you not to care. But I don't.

and when I tell you it's fine, it's cause I know we all have problems and I promise you don't need to care, or even pretend that you do. It's fine.

Time:
for you... I would like you to go fuck yourself.

Or actually, you know what? Actually, you can just give me a breather o remind me of who I am... what I like, who I like o be... Without anyone to interrupt.

Maybe that's what's been bothering me.