I'm Back... Am I?

What is wrong with life? Maybe it’s just me, or maybe it’s simply because I've never been in a situation like this in which people are so extremely unhappy. People say that life isn't always peaches and cream. Well, I understand what they mean but I wouldn't describe it as peaches and cream. Maybe something more along the lines of sunshine, colors, smiles and essence. Regardless, I've never thought of it always being "peaches and cream". For some reason I've always been fully aware of life's shortcomings and downfalls, its drama and circumstances, of how exhausting it can be.
I thought that it was all in how you decided to take it. On your reaction. That everything you do is up to you.
Recently I have found myself in a situation in which I don't know how to take. So I haven't taken it in any particular manner yet. I just kind of exist, I am, for now. And what happens when it’s too much? When you can't take it?

Some ponder on taking their own life. Not me. On being independent. Sometimes me. Finding an outlet. Sometimes I think I found it but it appears to have failed with certain purposes. Music is a great outlet. Cooking, painting, punching (not ideal but effective) all seem to help me in some way or another but never seem to be consistent.
Back to the thing (for lack of a better description), trapped in a limbo of nothingness in a permanent state of being. I’m not necessarily happy or sad, or stressed or gone crazy… I just am. I still haven’t found a reason for my nothingness but seem to have become at peace with it. Maybe. So I’m not technically choosing my reaction to it. Maybe it’s just an overwhelming feeling that went overboard to where it’s no longer a feeling… it’s numb? So how true was my original thesis? Because on one hand you could sulk, or let yourself be defeated, or burst or let it become a debacle in your mind; however at some point your (what I assume is a) subconscious reaction is to simply be. A Blah moment.